The Great Underground Mole Fighting League Mole Hunt: Part 1

[00:00:28] Speaker A: Hello and welcome back to to spells and whistles, a usually d and D five e podcast. But not today. Today we are back in with our miniseries mayhem with a game called the great underground mole fighting league mole hunt. This is a super, super fun game. This is by Keirwiki on itch IO. It's like a single page ttrpg. Super, super fun. And we have a handful of really incredible, really amazing guests. So without any further ado, I'm going to toss it back over to recording Meg, who will introduce our lovely, lovely guests. Before we get into the nitty gritty of the game, though, I did want to take a moment to introduce our amazing cast. We have Kendo, the award winning GM of one of my favorite AP's tales yet told. You can follow them at kendo makes film and alsold on Twitter. We also have Madeline, who is a producer, performer and writer in the TTRPG sphere. You can follow her on hegoosegirl on all socials. That's thee with two e's. And check out their performance on Feywild and out for dad's Rock. Did I get that right, Madeline? [00:01:39] Speaker B: Yes, you did amazing. [00:01:41] Speaker A: Okay, good. We also have Quentin, who is an actor, an incredible GM, and an amazing cardboard crafter who shares his passion for all types of fantasy media. You can find him on TikTok, Skyfair. And last, but certainly not least, we have Vijay. Vijay is a professional GM on star playing and a TTRPG designer, having worked on supplemental resources for all different kinds of games. You can follow them ejhcreations on Twitter. And I actually haven't had a chance to play with you yet, Vijay, but I'm really excited to have that opportunity today. So thank you and every other one of our guests for joining us today. I'm super, super excited. In the cutthroat world of underground fighting, you are all moles who participate, run, or otherwise enjoy the lucrative mole underground fighting league. However, when you get large enough, your rival fighting league has sent a mole to infiltrate so they can kind of cop your customers and just otherwise steal your business and all that, which is no good. So one of our players today is the mole, and all of them have things that they want to hide. So their goal today is to find the mole while keeping their own secret safe. It's a scene based rpg, but enough about the rules. I'm going to have everyone just introduce theirself briefly and just tell us a bit about your mole. But remember, to keep your secret safe. Let's start with Vijay. Tell us about your mole. And also, feel free to introduce yourself, your name, your pronouns, whatever you. [00:03:18] Speaker C: Hey, everybody. [00:03:19] Speaker D: My name is Vijay. My pronouns are they, them, and he, him, and also anything funny. My players like to say my pronouns are also DM, so. But, yes, hot. [00:03:28] Speaker A: Hi. [00:03:29] Speaker D: Yes, I'm badger, the mole. I cook for the barnyard and whatnot. I was married to the most awful person ever. The most awful mole ever. Honestly. Doesn't even know how to name a kid properly. I got two kids. Jacoby. I named that one, and Duchovny. [00:03:47] Speaker A: Mmm. [00:03:48] Speaker D: I love them both equally. Don't get me wrong, just the names. But, yeah, I'm just a little guy. Well, I'm a bit of a big guy, you know, I like to eat what I cook. Got a little gray coming in along the snout and all over the back in a long stripe. But we go, we fight, we eat. [00:04:05] Speaker A: Amazing. Thank you, Vijay and badger. Up next, let's go with kendo. Tell us about your molecule. [00:04:13] Speaker C: Uh, hey, there. Um, my name's corn Cobb. Um. Uh, I. I'm a farmer. I make sure that the, you know, all the moles got something good to eat every now and then. You know, we got the worms in the spring, and we got some of the. The beetles and bugs in the summer when they're all, you know, ripe and. And plump and just. It's just good for eating. If I. Yeah, I mostly keep to myself here on the farms by myself, where no one else really likes being around because it's dark, damp and moist and, you know, that's just how I like it, you know, quiet, by myself in here. No one else around. [00:04:59] Speaker A: Thank you ever. Incredible. Thank you so much, kendo. Let's jump over to Madeline. Tell us about your molecule. [00:05:10] Speaker B: Hi, I'm Madeline, and I'm playing Dennis. I'm Dennis, and I was married to Badger. Don't know what badger's going on about, but let's be real. It was harder being married to Badger than it was for Badger being married to me. The two garbage sons in our life, Jacoby and Duchovny, is what it is. I do spend most of my days now working as the personal assistant for. Working as the personal assistant for dirty gym, keeping track of all of these very important locations and places to be. Yeah. Other than that, my garbage son just keep me on my toes, as well as wherever my ex partner is serving up in the kitchen. [00:06:08] Speaker A: Incredible. And then let's jump over to Quentin. Tell us about your mole here. [00:06:14] Speaker E: Hey, y'all, I'm Quinton. I use he, they, pronouns. [00:06:17] Speaker F: And today I'm gonna be playing a mole named Spit. And I'm a big people person. I'm incredibly. My friends would tell you that I'm incredibly charismatic and the life of the party. I'm an architect by trade, and I really enjoy designing the holes, but not doing any of the dirty work. But everything's dirty work around here, isn't it? Anyways, if you ever want to ask me about what I'm working on, I have lots to say. I'm a big talker, and people tell me that I have a great voice for radio. [00:07:02] Speaker A: Amazing. What a motley crew. I am so excited. But I feel like the best way to kind of get started is to just jump right in. The farmers have returned to their homes after a long day out on the field. The cows and pigs and chickens have settled in their coops and sties and stables. And a full moon rises, bathing the quiet fields in a silvery tint. Though it is peaceful on the surface, deep in the earth, in the tunnels and hollows beneath the barn, gather the vermin, moles, mice and rats, toads and voles, ferrets and hares and cockroaches, creatures that hunt each other to get by, coming together for one entertainment. Welcome to the great underground mole fighting league. Getting cinematic with it, we see kind of the camera push through into the dirt, through the winding tunnels of the barnyard basement, this mole burrow that you all call home. Deep in the lowest levels of this basement, we see up on, like, a discarded Twinkie wrapper and little cardboard case that they have a small mouse, and one of the toads kind of going at it, kicking and doing the little, like, sibling slap hands thing as they just kind of duke it out on this little podium. And waiting in the wings are two moles getting ready to step up to the fight. After this one resumes, tell me where we find each of your characters. Let's start with spit. What is spit doing during this fight tonight? [00:08:52] Speaker E: Spit, I think, is doing maintenance on the. What are the words? The risers, the chairs that all of the spectators are sitting on. These events can get a little bit rowdy, and people do a lot of pushing. And, of course, moles, being naturally talented burrowers, can kind of tear the things apart. So I think he's sort of pushing through the crowds, going up to parts of the chairs that have, like, eroded or broken, and getting of a good. And pushing the mud back together. [00:09:30] Speaker A: Incredible. The camera kind of pans over a little bit. What is Dennis doing? [00:09:37] Speaker B: Dennis is wherever dirty gym is dirty. [00:09:41] Speaker A: Jim, this mole in question, the boss of the mole fighting league, as well as the founder of the barnyard basement, is staring over at the crowd. Beady mole eyes kind of scanning the crowd. He seems to be looking for something, though. What it could be, not quite sure just yet. His eyes sort of fixate as Dennis is kind of observing this behavior. I imagine Dennis is also kind of scanning the crowd, and his eyes fall onto badger. Where do we see badger in this arena tonight? [00:10:22] Speaker D: You're gonna find badger in the kitchen whipping up some snacks and grubs with Jacoby and Duchovny learning the old family trade, something actually useful. But, yeah, that's where we are up in the kitchen right now. [00:10:38] Speaker A: Amazing. I think you guys. I think Duchovny just finishes sauteing some worms, grub in some fresh night dew or something, and brings out a little platter. Again, the camera just following them. As Duchovny makes his way into the arena and brings the refreshments and the food out, different creatures. A vole takes a little portion and starts nibbling on it. A hare stops by and starts picking a couple pieces. And what are the kind of bits of this saute that corn is interested in eating tonight? [00:11:22] Speaker C: I think corn is sitting in the stands, like, sitting in the stands watching as everything is going on, but not really paying attention to this match. I think there's, from an outside perspective, someone would say, oh, corn's like, look, corn's, like, sleeping. Like, they're, like, heads down, like, they're not really looking. But a keen eye would notice that corn is wide awake, paying attention, staring at the ground, looking at little grubs that are crawling across the ground and kind of internally, like, thinking, like, well, is that one gonna be good for. No, no, no. That one needs to live a little longer before I take it to the farm. Oh, that one. Oh, that one. Like, in, like, picking up, like, a little one, like, watching it crawl along, like, the length of his little claw to the finger. And, like, now you. You're coming back with me. And opens up, like, a little pocket in the front of his little mole shirt that he's wearing and plops it in. [00:12:38] Speaker G: Yeah, yeah. [00:12:41] Speaker A: Amazing. Well, as each of your moles enjoy the revelries that come from a fight night in the underground mole fighting league, Dennis, I think you pick up on it first that. That air of unease that has settled over dirty gym. He wears a bottle cap as a hat, and he kind of lifts it up with his little clawed hand and scratches and scruffs the back of his head. And before puts it back on, he. [00:13:09] Speaker G: Says, I don't like it, Dennis. I don't like it one bit. [00:13:16] Speaker B: What don't you like, boss? [00:13:19] Speaker A: He. His beady black eyes scans the crowd and he's. He says under his breath, we'll gather. [00:13:28] Speaker G: Some folks after the match. I have something weighing heavy on my mind. Please see to it that a badger and corn and spit. Have them stay late after the match today. [00:13:44] Speaker B: Dennis. Dennis is like, ooh, is bad. You're in trouble. That's what Dennis is thinking. He's like a sure thing, boss. But, um. Do I, uh. Any reason why? Is it good? Is it bad? Is someone getting in trouble? Is Badger getting in trouble? [00:14:01] Speaker G: We've got too many. Too many prying eyes and listening ears here. [00:14:06] Speaker B: Right, all. [00:14:08] Speaker G: But keep your eyes peeled for anything that seems suspicious. [00:14:14] Speaker B: Like all kind of rush of cold. And Dennis is like, oh, yeah, suspicious. Definitely suspicious. Suspicious. Should I go get home now, boss? [00:14:28] Speaker G: Uh, let them know that I would like to speak with them after the match. And we should be good from there. See to it that they. That they know. Uh, dirty Jim wants to talk to him. [00:14:39] Speaker B: Right. Oh, and salute with his little molecules and is going to start crawling to whoever the nearest badger is. Not bad. You're the nearest mole. Too many vermin. There's too many vermin. [00:14:57] Speaker A: As Dennis kind of makes the rounds and gathers everybody. Not necessarily gathering, but alerts them that dirty Jim would like to speak. The toad and the. What did I say? It was a toad and a mouse that were going at it. The toad finally just kind of, like, slumps forward and just kind of squashes the mouse a little bit. And the mouse kind of smacks the little cardboard table tapping out. And the next two fights kind of join this routine. This dance of fight and revelry continues long into the night. And by the time that the final fight happens, excitement is reaching its peak as we see a mole and a cockroach duking it out. Eventually, the mole prevails and the crowd goes wild. Money is exchanged. Cheers across the crowd. The excitement is tangible as this final fight reaches its end. And slowly, everybody starts to make their way out of the entrance hole, back to the surface. Those that do not live in the barnyard basement return to the fields, to the haystacks, wherever it is they call home. And the four of you and dirty Jim remain. [00:16:23] Speaker D: Well, what's up, boss? [00:16:26] Speaker G: Thank you all for staying to meet with me tonight. [00:16:30] Speaker D: Is this about the excellent food? [00:16:32] Speaker A: Not. Not. [00:16:33] Speaker G: Not particularly, no. But it was quite delicious. I really enjoyed the skewers that you had the other night. Those were divine badges. [00:16:45] Speaker F: Those were really good. [00:16:47] Speaker G: Unfortunately, the reason I gather you all today is not for something quite as excellent as skewers. I have chosen each of you for one reason or another. Dennis, my personal assistant. Badger, the cook that knows everybody and sees everybody. Corn, you and your bugs have ears and eyes everywhere. And. And spit. [00:17:14] Speaker C: Oh. [00:17:15] Speaker G: As master of the tunnels, you know everywhere that this individual could be like. [00:17:23] Speaker F: The back of my paw. [00:17:24] Speaker G: Like the back of your. [00:17:26] Speaker A: Indeed. [00:17:27] Speaker G: I have reason to suspect the underground mole fighting league's rival, the haystack heroes, have infiltrated our ranks. As you all know, this fight ring is what gives us the resources to expand, to keep this hole a home, to create our own community, away from the prying eyes of those that would seek to tear us down. [00:17:58] Speaker C: You're saying that there's someone here who's been deceiving us, who's been lying to us? [00:18:06] Speaker B: I'll bet it's badger. [00:18:08] Speaker F: Nope. [00:18:11] Speaker G: I ask you all, as your boss, but also as your. Your patriarch of sorts, your. Your leader, I need you to help me find this mole. Not like the rodent kind. [00:18:27] Speaker D: I think it's fucking Dennis. Dennis was so quick to point the finger at me. [00:18:31] Speaker G: I would. I would be so sad if it was any of you, but I cannot trust anybody. So I figured if I talk to the four of you, you should be able to get to the bottom of this. [00:18:44] Speaker B: Why you gulping? [00:18:46] Speaker C: Why you gulping over there? [00:18:49] Speaker F: This sounds like a slippery situation, and I've worked really hard on this nice new fighting ring. It would be such a shame to see it fall apart. It took a whole lot of spit to build this ton. These tunnels. [00:19:09] Speaker C: Understood. [00:19:10] Speaker D: What the fuck you say tunnels for? That's disgusting. [00:19:15] Speaker B: And Dennis attack. Not. Doesn't attack, but just crawls up to spit and goes, what the fuck you say tunnels for? [00:19:22] Speaker C: Oh, what? [00:19:24] Speaker E: Spit drops all of his blueprints. [00:19:27] Speaker D: See that? Erratic behavior. The mole. Or, well, the bad one. [00:19:32] Speaker F: I think we're all the mole. [00:19:35] Speaker D: Yeah, but. But Dennis is the bad one. Oh. Oh, this. [00:19:39] Speaker B: This sounds like investigative bias to me. [00:19:43] Speaker D: You said it was me first. [00:19:46] Speaker B: Because you're the most suspicious looking one out of all the bunch. [00:19:50] Speaker A: I think this kind of squabble, like, reaches a peak before dirty Jim kind of pounds his little claw mole hand into the ground. The vibrations kind of woofing around the dirt, and you all kind of stop in your tracks. [00:20:07] Speaker G: Now, like I said, the reason I've talked to the four of you is because you are competent and capable. And I know that you can get to the bottom of this. We have another week until our next match. And if anything is to happen, I think it will happen then. The haystack heroes, they've been trying to get what we have for years. And if they've got an in man, our next fight, it's the championship. They're looking to get something big, something. Something real bad. So we have a week. Keep your eyes out. Let me know if you see anything. Work together, but keep each other at arm's length. I don't know who we can trust anymore. [00:20:57] Speaker D: Not a problem, boss. I won't be anywhere near fucking Dennis. [00:21:04] Speaker B: Lene with Badger. [00:21:08] Speaker D: Yeah, I know it was. It kind of leans in. I know it was you, and I'm gonna fucking prove it. I know. You fucking little shit. I know you're responsible for this. The way you've been raising our boys. I know you're the ball, the bad one. [00:21:20] Speaker B: I can't believe you. [00:21:21] Speaker F: Stop the fighting. [00:21:22] Speaker A: Hey, hey. [00:21:23] Speaker D: He descried me. [00:21:24] Speaker C: Hey, hey, now. Hey, hey, hey. Okay. All right. [00:21:30] Speaker F: Look, I understand the match is over. [00:21:33] Speaker C: I understand that you all have beef. Leave the children out of it. [00:21:41] Speaker D: You mean our garbage? [00:21:42] Speaker B: Sonj. [00:21:43] Speaker C: Yeah, you can. Don't weaponize your children against each other. [00:21:47] Speaker D: It's not weaponizing if it's the truth. [00:21:50] Speaker F: It. [00:21:50] Speaker C: No, it's still me. [00:21:51] Speaker D: Would be better with me and Jacoby. [00:21:54] Speaker C: See, you're doing it again. You did the thing again where you are weaponizing your children against. [00:21:59] Speaker D: It's just a fact. [00:22:01] Speaker C: It's. You might think that have you. [00:22:03] Speaker D: I'm teaching them valuable life skills. What's this? [00:22:10] Speaker C: All right. Nevermind. [00:22:15] Speaker D: Yeah. Stay out of it. This is a family affair. Why are you even butting into this? [00:22:18] Speaker C: This is a business meeting. We're at work. [00:22:24] Speaker F: These tunnels are very echoey. [00:22:28] Speaker D: Everyone is gonna hear tunnels. Cover your ears. [00:22:34] Speaker C: You're having a very private conversation in a very public place. [00:22:38] Speaker D: Cover your ears. [00:22:40] Speaker B: Why you talk about tunnels again? You're gonna wait. You wasn't born. [00:22:48] Speaker D: This is fucking bad mole behavior. [00:22:51] Speaker F: Tunnels for my whole life. [00:22:55] Speaker A: I think dirty Jim starts like, you know how, like, moles kind of push dirt and it looks like they're swimming. He just kind of starts like, slumping away into the. Into the tunnels, back to his sleeping quarters. As the squabble kind of continues and fingers are pointed and as things kind of go on, I think eventually the kind of fiery energy that is happening begins to give and eventually, sort of the fatigue of a running a long event all day and all night catches up with you and you decide to make your way back to your little mole dens, each on your own. And as you kind of tuck into your little dirt beds and circle around and pat it down in the places you like it firm, you kind of start thinking, alright, I've been assigned to find the mole. Time to think of a strategy. Time to think of who I want to speak with, who I can maybe get information with. Not even about the person themself, but what have other people seen? What have they heard? And as you kind of have all these thoughts swimming around in your head, you each fall into a sleep. Do we want to like roll to see who has their scene first? Do we want to just kind of like raise your hand? What would be most fun for you all? [00:24:24] Speaker D: I like the random aspect of a roll. [00:24:27] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:24:28] Speaker D: Okay, let's roll. [00:24:29] Speaker B: Everyone gets a number. Roll a d four. [00:24:32] Speaker D: Oh, I'm of course number one as badger feeds everybody in the community. [00:24:39] Speaker A: Last but not least, badger is number one. [00:24:42] Speaker G: Spit is number four and I'm number three. [00:24:47] Speaker A: Three. And then corn will be two. Okay, I'm gonna roll the. I'm gonna kendo, if you have a d four out, do you wanna roll it? [00:24:54] Speaker C: I do have a D four out. [00:24:56] Speaker A: Yeah, go ahead and roll for us. [00:24:58] Speaker C: That's a four. [00:25:00] Speaker A: Okay, so spit. Last but not least, Spit. So you kind of like, wake up. I don't want to tell you when you have your scene, but I mean, the whole mole tunnel is at your disposal. All of your mole friends are at your disposal. You get to choose at least one other player to have a scene with them and see if you can learn any information about them and their recent goings on. Who would you like to speak with? [00:25:39] Speaker E: Spit wants to talk to Dirty Jim, which would imply I would have to get through Dennis to get to dirty Jim. In my mind, I'll do my first scene with Dennis in order to eventually talk with Dirty Jim. [00:25:58] Speaker A: Where are you, like planning a meeting out? Are you just gonna go straight to dirty Jim's office? Where are you wanting to host this meeting? [00:26:07] Speaker E: I am. I'm gonna go to dirty gym and so I'm just gonna assume he's at his office. [00:26:14] Speaker A: Okay, brilliant. [00:26:16] Speaker E: I'm gonna make an asset of you, of me and me and head to the office. [00:26:21] Speaker A: Incredible. So yeah, spit, you kind of make your way through the tunnels of the barnyard basement, finding yourself in the sort of aftermath of the fight last night. Lots of little residual like crunchy bug pieces that nobody wanted to eat litter the floor. There's some sort of messes made out of the walls, some, like, small collapsings here and there. Crowds maybe got a little too riled up as you kind of approach through this sort of fighting circle. The entrance to dirty Jim's office. [00:27:05] Speaker E: I pick up some discarded beetle legs on the way there and eat that as my morning breakfast. [00:27:14] Speaker A: Nice. [00:27:15] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:27:16] Speaker E: Is there a. Are there doors, or is this just, like, a hole? And I walk through the hole? [00:27:23] Speaker A: That's a great question. I imagine it, like, if somebody wants a door, they pile up loose dirt in front of it that's easy to, like, clear out and wiggle through. I think dirty Jim probably has some loose dirt piled up in front of his door. [00:27:41] Speaker E: I'll approach dirty Jim's dirty door and knock on the wall next to it to send the vibrations to his him to let him know that there's somebody here. [00:27:56] Speaker A: Dennis, you and Dirty Jim are just working on, like, business. I think you may be going through. I don't know, what does Dennis do as a pa? [00:28:07] Speaker B: It's very much, I think, yes. Manning for dirty gym. I think Dennis, in his mind, thinks that he is not just the personal assistant, but also the bodyguard and therapist. Dennis takes his job way too seriously. [00:28:27] Speaker A: Awesome. I imagine that dirty Jim is kind of going over the numbers. He's probably going over ticket sales for the fight that happened last night. And looking over sort of the count, head counts, that kind of thing. So I think that you might be sort of helping out with some of this, like, paperwork and stuff when you hear that kind of like thump, thump, thump on the wall of dirty Jim's office. Yeah. [00:28:58] Speaker B: I look at dirty Jim, and I go, don't worry, I'll handle it, and starts going over to the door and yells, what you want? [00:29:08] Speaker F: Um, hello, this is spit. I need to talk to dirty Jim. [00:29:16] Speaker B: I'm gonna wiggle my face through the dirt and go, dirty Jim's busy right now. What you can say to him, you gotta say to me. [00:29:24] Speaker F: Oh, hello, Dennis. I hope you're having a good morning. Okay. [00:29:33] Speaker G: Um. [00:29:34] Speaker F: Okay. [00:29:34] Speaker B: Good until you came. [00:29:37] Speaker F: Oh, well, I apologize for ruining your morning, but I have an urgent matter that I must speak with Dirty Jim. Hey, are you doing okay? [00:29:53] Speaker B: What you talking about? [00:29:56] Speaker F: Your eyes are twitching. You look tired. Did you sleep well last night? [00:30:03] Speaker B: I slept great, actually. Why? You worried about my mental health? Are you waiting till my guards are low because you're the mole? [00:30:10] Speaker F: No. Oh, no, no. Just keeping tabs on all the people of the holes. These tunnels can get pretty dark and cramped. [00:30:26] Speaker B: And stop fucking mason tunnels. It's gonna go through. Goes say tunnel one more time. Or dare you to say tunnel one more time. [00:30:35] Speaker F: Tunnel goes on. Oh, sorry. Um, pathways. Is that better? [00:30:47] Speaker B: No, it's even worse. [00:30:49] Speaker F: Oh, connection areas. [00:30:53] Speaker B: Just. Just don't mention anything about tonals or any synonyms that a tunnel like you. Got it. [00:31:06] Speaker E: If. [00:31:06] Speaker F: If I agree, can I talk to Dirty Jim? [00:31:10] Speaker B: No. [00:31:11] Speaker F: Oh, well, I have to talk to. [00:31:14] Speaker B: Him first and see if he can take you. [00:31:17] Speaker F: Okay. Okay. Hey, did you have breakfast this morning? [00:31:25] Speaker B: Well, you asking? [00:31:28] Speaker F: Well, there's just. I passed through the kitchen on my way here and I grabbed an extra fly wing, if you want to munch. If you need something to munch on. Just thought I'd look out for you. [00:31:45] Speaker B: Thank you for your generosity. I'm full. [00:31:49] Speaker F: I promise it's not a bribe. [00:31:52] Speaker B: Are you bribing me? Are you bribing dirty Jim? [00:31:57] Speaker F: No. No. Oh, no. Um, anyways, is what. What do I need to do to speak with dirty Jim? Should I come back later, or. [00:32:09] Speaker B: Well, why don't you run what you have to say Bobby, first, and I'll bring it to him and see if it's worth running by him. [00:32:18] Speaker F: Oh, okay. I just wanted to talk to dirty Jim about getting my last payment for the recent renovations to the. To the fighting ring. We set up an installment plan and the last one was due last night. And I thought that's why he was calling me to his office, but instead he had more pressing information to speak with us about. And I just really, really could use that last bit of payment and I'm wondering when it will arrive. [00:32:55] Speaker B: Are you ensuing? That dirty gym is cheap. That dirty gem don't pay. Is that. Is that what I'm hearing from you? [00:33:03] Speaker F: Oh, no, of course not, Dennis. I would never say that about dirty Jim. I, um. I just thought that perhaps it maybe slipped his mind and I really need it as soon as possible. [00:33:18] Speaker B: Why don't you make yourself nice and cozy and eat your little fly wing, and I'll see if dirty Jim can talk with you. [00:33:26] Speaker F: Thank you, Dennis. That would be really amazing. Dennis. [00:33:30] Speaker B: Don'T thank me yet. And then he is gonna walk back in and go. Part of me is like, is Dennis honorable? Is Dennis. Does that tell the truth? I think he goes into the office and he goes, uh, boss, you got a visitor outside. It's, uh, spit. Um, Spitzer wondering about the last payment. Says that I didn't get it. [00:33:59] Speaker G: The last payment for the fighting ring. Uh, yes. Uh, must have slipped my mind. [00:34:06] Speaker A: Um, I mean, you seem kind of like, go over to some, like, dirt pile in the corner. What do we think moles use as currency? I didn't think about this ahead of time. [00:34:16] Speaker B: They use little, like, tiny little pebbles. [00:34:18] Speaker A: Yeah. So I think, uh, he kind of goes over to this little dirt pile and pulls out a little, like, chip bag that's full of these little stones and stuff. He kind of grabs it between his teeth and starts moving it over. [00:34:37] Speaker G: I have kept track. This should be the last payment he's seeking. If you could just go and deliver this to spit, please, and tell him to check in on the western entrance. I noticed that there was some cavings or something that seemed to be happening, and since he is the architect, I figured it would probably be wise to run that by him and just let him know. [00:35:07] Speaker B: And Dennis is like, yeah, the caverns. Yeah, those caverns. Yes, definitely those skavens. Yes, definitely. [00:35:15] Speaker D: I will. [00:35:16] Speaker B: I will make sure that spirit knows about those cavings. That definitely happened. [00:35:22] Speaker A: Big, Big Jim. Dirty Jim. Big Jim. Big, dirty Jim. [00:35:25] Speaker B: Big, dirty Jim. [00:35:27] Speaker A: Just changing his name in the middle of the game for me. He goes back to his little mole desk and starts finishing up sort of the paperwork. [00:35:37] Speaker B: I come back out with this little bag of rocks, and I throw it to spit. [00:35:43] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:35:44] Speaker B: There you go. It's nice. Now get. [00:35:48] Speaker F: Thank you, Dennis. That's very kind of you, Dennis. Oh, and one last thing, that a message that you could relay to dirty Jim for me, please. [00:35:59] Speaker B: What message? [00:36:01] Speaker F: If you could just let Dirty Jim know that his secret project that he asked me to work on, that he doesn't want me telling anyone about, it's about 80% complete, and we expect to be finished within the next two or three days. [00:36:20] Speaker B: Dennis takes a step towards spit and goes, what's this secret project? [00:36:26] Speaker F: Oh, well, I'm not supposed to tell anyone, but perhaps if you ask nicely, dirty Jim will let you know. [00:36:33] Speaker B: Spit, I want. I want you to do something. Dirty Gemini were basically the same person, but split into two. So telling me it's basically locked talking to dirty Jim. [00:36:46] Speaker F: Oh, you did. Dennis and dirty Jim, that's got a nice alliteration to it. Yeah. Well, if you're the same person and you probably already know about the secret project, correct. [00:36:58] Speaker B: No, we. We don't share the same brain. It's more like I operate in the same way that dirty Jim does, and I need to be privy to all of his privacy and all of his secrets, because what kind of personal assistant am I if I don't know things? [00:37:16] Speaker F: Oh, okay. Um, well, I'm not really supposed to tell you, but you can go check it out for yourself if you'd like. What if you wrote just to the west of here? [00:37:26] Speaker B: The west? Okay. [00:37:29] Speaker F: Yeah, yeah. Head west out of the common rooms, and don't go too far down, or else you're gonna get to the. To the lower worm hunting tunnels. But if you take your first left after exiting the common rooms, you'll. That's where you'll find dirty gems. Secret project that I'm not supposed to tell anyone about. [00:37:50] Speaker B: What if he did it? Like an interpretive dance? He could do that. That's technically not talking when you really think about it. [00:37:58] Speaker F: Okay. Yes. And. [00:38:05] Speaker E: He kind of stands up on his back paws and does a big sort of motion, as if he's taking his little paws and expanding the sky with his little paws, and then he spins around, and he throws dirt up in the air and runs in a circle, and the circle keeps getting wider and wider, and then he rears up onto his back legs, and then he lands. [00:38:40] Speaker B: Dennis is like, oh, God, I didn't understand any of that. Why did I do that? I'm pushing my luck. He goes, oh, sorry. Thank you. I'll go let Dej. [00:38:50] Speaker F: Thank you very much, Dennis. I hope you have a great day, Dennis. Oh, and, hey, if you ever need me to come look at your bed, if it's feeling uncomfortable, I can try to remake it for you in a way that will fit. There's a charge, but I have a specific system, a number based system based on the firmness and softness that you would like for the pile of dirt that you sleep on. It's been really effective in helping to solve things like sleeping issues and spinal problems. Some people have found it to be very effective. [00:39:29] Speaker B: That's very considerate of you. I'll let you know what I think about. [00:39:36] Speaker F: And good luck finding. Finding this molecule. Or I guess we're almost finding the traitor. We should say, we're gonna bury this traitor. [00:39:51] Speaker D: Why would you say that? [00:39:53] Speaker C: Well. [00:39:56] Speaker A: I think, as Dennis goes for the rage, I think that might be a nice place to kind of, like, close out the scene as spit kind of scampers back off to attend to his architecture business. Incredible. Does anybody else have a d four and would like to roll to see who our next. Yeah. Vijay, who is our next scene? [00:40:22] Speaker D: It is corn. It's a two corn. [00:40:25] Speaker A: Okay, so corn, I think. Yeah, kind of set up. Give us a peek into Corin's mind. What are they up to, and what are they saying? [00:40:37] Speaker C: Porn is probably somewhere near the kitchens, wherever we are keeping, wherever food is being stored at this moment. Not looking for anyone in particular. I'm looking for something. It is more likely that badger comes across corn more than corn is going to look for badger, as corn is specifically not trying to interact with any person more. So I'm digging through our food storage looking for something. [00:41:14] Speaker A: Okay. [00:41:15] Speaker C: I think what badger comes across whenever badger does end up here is corn, like, face first in, like, a huge. Like, a crate. Um, and it's just like, digging around and, like, tossing things out, mumbling to themselves. [00:41:36] Speaker D: What are you doing? Corn kind of suspicious. Only the suspicious jump up like that. [00:41:44] Speaker C: And scream, sorry, I was just. I was looking through. There was things and I was making sure none of the food had. Well, I was making sure that, like, some of the food had gone rotten to see if I could find any grubs that I could add to the farm so I could start getting ready for the next season. How are you doing? Mmm. [00:42:06] Speaker D: Well, listen, if you. Next time, since you're rooting around in my expertise, just ask and I'll help. [00:42:14] Speaker C: Yeah, all right. Of course. I know that we're primarily, you know, carnivorous. Eat bugs and stuff. Would you happen to have any carrots? [00:42:25] Speaker D: Yeah, I got carrots. I got anything you can wanna fucking eat. [00:42:29] Speaker C: Oh, amazing. Amazing. It'd be a great help. Yeah. [00:42:32] Speaker D: Do I have carrots? [00:42:34] Speaker C: Yeah. No. Oh, yeah, I could. I get some carrots? [00:42:41] Speaker D: Yeah, you can get some carrots. [00:42:47] Speaker C: You okay? Hey. [00:42:49] Speaker D: Yeah, I'm fine. [00:42:50] Speaker C: Okay. You. You got, like, a throat thing going on there or. [00:42:54] Speaker D: Don't worry about it. [00:42:55] Speaker C: Okay, I won't. Hey, if I could get the carrots. That's all I came here for, carrots. [00:43:01] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:43:01] Speaker C: Yeah, you're doing it more. You're doing it again. Yeah. Oh, money, money. Is that. What. Is that what, the clearing? Yeah. Hold on. Give me a second. So you could have just asked. I'm sorry. I'm autistic. You could have just said, clearing the throne. It wasn't very helpful for me. [00:43:21] Speaker D: It was more helpful for you. That wasn't very accessible. I apologize for that. That's my bad. You know what, corn? Just as an apology. Listen, just. I'll give you the carrots. [00:43:34] Speaker C: Right, okay. You cleared your throat again, which made me think you. You need money. [00:43:41] Speaker D: It's fine. It's fine. [00:43:44] Speaker C: So the pause before. Look, I'll just give you some money. I. Look, I've got. Look, I've got five. What if I don't know what we call money around here? I guess I got five. What? [00:43:57] Speaker D: Little stones. Five little stones. [00:44:00] Speaker C: Yeah. No, I got five stones. I got five stones here. Right here. [00:44:04] Speaker D: Thank you. [00:44:05] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:44:07] Speaker D: Gives you like, a bushel. I don't know how many carrots are. [00:44:11] Speaker C: Bushel. [00:44:12] Speaker D: Hands over the bushel. Here's your carrots. Thank you. [00:44:14] Speaker C: Thank you. Appreciate it. Appreciate it. Now, also, if we could keep this on the download, just between you and me, that'll be great. [00:44:23] Speaker D: Why. Why are we hiding this? [00:44:26] Speaker C: Well, I'm trying something new with the worm. I'm trying a new feed, and I want to see if it makes a difference. But, you know, just like any good experiment, there has to be, like, a blind test. You know, like, people can't know that there's a difference beforehand, or else it would, like, change their perception of how the worms taste, you know, so if they knew there was something different, they'd be looking for something different, you know? But if they just taste and they're like, this is better than last time, like, what you do different, then I can tell them. That way, you know, I can make sure it's actually working rather than. And not really amounting to much of anything at all. [00:45:10] Speaker D: All right. [00:45:11] Speaker C: All right. [00:45:12] Speaker D: Always down for an experiment, especially if it means it's something I get to cook. [00:45:16] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, no, you'll get first. Don't worry. You will be the first one to get this fresh batch of carrot worms. Yeah. Hey, um, I don't mean to pry or anything, but, um, have you thought of maybe, I don't know, therapy with. With you and with you and Dennis? I don't know. It just seems like if you all gonna be working in the same location, living in the same place, you know, that might be. [00:45:57] Speaker D: Answer that question. I have a better question for you. Is this carrot worms? Will it, like, count for the vegetables the kids gotta eat? [00:46:09] Speaker C: Oh, of course. Yeah. No, it will be like. Yeah, my hope is that it will be more nutritious. Would be great for everybody's kids, you know, like, really, like, especially when they're young. You know, you got to make sure that they are getting the right nutrition, right. Like, and everybody needs something a little different, but, you know, you got it. Yeah. I'm just trying to make sure that everybody's, you know, doing their thing, you know? You did kind of dodge my question about the. About the therapy. [00:46:36] Speaker D: No, no, no, I'll answer it. I just wanted to ask before I forgot I have ADHd. No. [00:46:41] Speaker C: Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I understand. I understand. I got diagnosed recently. [00:46:47] Speaker D: Been living with it for 20 years. Well, really my whole life. But knowing about it for 20 years. [00:46:53] Speaker C: Yeah, hey, it makes a big difference knowing about it, you know, no one. [00:46:57] Speaker D: Is half the battle. [00:46:58] Speaker C: No one is half the battle. That's. [00:47:00] Speaker D: Yeah, you know, here's the thing. I would love to go to therapy, but Dennis. Dennis doesn't think we gotta talk to anybody. Dennis just doesn't want. This is why I think I am the better parental figure for our kids. Dennis is not modeling healthy coping mechanisms. We should go to therapy, the two of us and the four of us. But Dennis doesn't want to do any of that. And so I'm really just worried about what Dennis is putting in Duchovny's head when we're, you know, when it's just the two of them. [00:47:37] Speaker C: I'm hearing you, I'm hearing you, but are you hearing you? Cuz you're doing that thing again. I was talking about earlier, weaponizing your children against each other. You know, saying that like, if it's the truth, yes, you can say that as many times you would like. It does not make it true. Weaponization is a neutral tool. Weaponization is a neutral tool. Like, if I look, I just. I don't necessarily know if I am. [00:48:12] Speaker D: The person a concern if one parent is not modeling healthy behavior, aka does not want to go to therapy to work on the issues. [00:48:22] Speaker C: Okay. There are other ways in which people can have unhealthy coping mechanisms. If I'm just being frank, I'm not. [00:48:30] Speaker D: Disagreeing, but that's one of those ways. [00:48:32] Speaker C: No, no, no, absolutely, absolutely. I do not believe Dennis is modeling good coping mechanisms. [00:48:38] Speaker D: Thank you. That's all I need. [00:48:40] Speaker C: Oh, no, there was more. No, no, no, there was more. No, there was more. There was more to what I was saying. I also think that there are maybe in some ways that you are also perhaps not modeling good coping mechanisms for your children. Do you think that the way in which you speak about and to Dennis is the way you want your children to be reacting to other people that they have problems with in their lives? [00:49:11] Speaker D: I don't react like that to Dennis. When the kids are around, that doesn't. [00:49:17] Speaker C: Mean that they don't know. Children know a lot. Children see and hear everything. So you have to be very careful about the things in which what you say and do around them. Cause they will take you. [00:49:31] Speaker D: I'm not doing things around them. See, you said around them. No, I'm not doing things around them. I'm modeling. [00:49:38] Speaker C: Where are your kids right now? [00:49:42] Speaker D: They are both with Dennis. It's Dennis's turn to have both of our kids for the moment. But you know what? I bet Denis is bad mouthing me to them, especially to jakoby. [00:49:56] Speaker C: Mm hmm. Look, all I'm gonna say is, you gotta raise those kids right. Cause you only get one. [00:50:04] Speaker D: I am. Which is why Kobe and Duchovny. [00:50:08] Speaker C: All right, all right, all right. [00:50:13] Speaker D: Honestly, I knew that. I know Dennis is the mole. And when we prove it, Dennis is gonna go away, and the kids will have. Will be with the right parent that they need full time, both of them. [00:50:27] Speaker C: Okay. If you think you're the right one. [00:50:31] Speaker D: For those kids, we'll go to therapy. We'll work out our problems. They'll learn healthy coping mechanisms. Yeah, I am the right one. [00:50:44] Speaker C: All right. I hope you have a good rest of your day. Hope you have a good rest of your day. Puts the carrots underneath their arms and just kind of head down. Walks back to the farms, I think. [00:51:02] Speaker A: As corn descends back to the worm farm, and as badger returns to cooking and the meal prep and everything like that, the camera kind of pans out, leaving, like, over out of the mole tunnel, getting an overhead view of the barn before, like, moving and entering the other side of the barn where all the hay is stacked up and there is whispering afoot as the moles that occupy the haystack heroes begin to whisper and share information that maybe they wouldn't be privy to if it weren't for their molecules. Thank you so much for tuning into spells and mole hunt. One shot. I have had such a blast putting this together for you all, so I hope that you're enjoying it. I wanted to give another huge shout out to our amazing guests this episode. Quinton, Kendo, Vijay, and Madeline. You guys were fab. You can follow all of them. We have them linked in the description, so be sure to give them a follow, and we'll see you around for our part two next week. Bye.